Truly this post originated to explain my absence from email, the phone, and the world’s wonderful web. But then I got to thinking, I could really use this time to share some thoughts that are weighing heavy on my heart today. And thus, explain my absence all the while.
Yesterday, while driving home with my newly graduated son, we started talking about a Kindergarten memory. In that instant it seemed like it was just yesterday, for both of us. I know you have heard it before. But as your friend I am writing to you today. Letting you know that in the struggles of motherhood, the struggles that are a reality to even the best of mothers, they pass. They pass so quickly in fact, that I need tiny little wipers on my swollen eyes to finish this line to you.
I have always taken my job as a mother very seriously. I had my oldest when I was very young and I feel this seriousness was born from wanting to do my very best for him. Wanting him to have everything that an older, more seasoned mother could offer. Sitting where I am right now, looking back, I hope that all that seriousness equates into love. That somewhere in his heart, or one day when he has his own children, he will understand why I had to take it all so serious. I had his success, happiness, future in my young little hands and I wanted nothing more than to do my best.
Today as I try to clear this feeling that I can only describe as foggy, I have reflected on it all. My favorite memories, the ones that tug the hardest, are from when I let go of all that seriousness for a moment. From the unexpected. The memory that comes to mind as I type this is from when he was a preschooler, I was filling up his bath and I picked him up and threw him in with all of his clothes on, the look he gave me followed by the most contagious giggle will be with me forever.
So what does all this mean? Today, do something unexpected. It doesnt have to be big. Just something that will stand out in your heart. So when you are sitting here in my shoes you can have a smile too. Trust me, you will need an extra one.
Here is my graduate. Yes, mine. I want to keep him all to myself, two year old tantrum style. And for today, I am. That my friends is my explanation for not writing you back on emails, or calling, or being on the web. Because for today and maybe tomorrow too, I just need to think about my graduate. Take a moment, breathe it in, and prepare my heart to set him free.
I have never felt more proud. He makes it so easy to be his number one fan.
Serious Love + Unexpected Fun = Cherished Childhood